I am seriously & sincerely posting this because I am having a conversation with someone about being ‘sat down’ from ministry and if it’s taken seriously/effectively in today’s churches (or if it ever was). I recently heard a preacher say, “If people are doing wrong, sit them down”. As I wrapped my head around that statement, soooooooo many things began to start running through my mind. I managed to sum up my thoughts into these 5 questions:
1. If you were sat down from ministry, was the reasoning throughly explained to you & did you fully understand it?
Jalen: “I was in fact sat down from ministry, for a moral failure and to just kind of restart, if I may say that. I understood totally what it was and I understood totally what it meant as far as my serving and my part within the ministry. It wasn’t something that was forced upon me by my pastor; she agreed to this plan of action, but overall it was my decision at the end of the day. I fully understand that being ‘sat down’ meant sitting on the front row, receiving the word of God, and following the restoration plan that my pastor and I thought was most feasible at that time. I also understood that it meant being covered by my pastor and the ministry as well, meaning that no one was going to be able to spread rumors or just ‘keep up with me’ per se. She didn’t make me tell the entire church publicly what was going on, it was moreso of her sharing, “He is sitting and he’s getting the word, for this length of the restoration. Watch God work.”
2. Were you offered counseling/mentorship for the issue? Were you left to deal on your own?
Jalen: “I was indeed offered counseling and mentorship from one of the ministers at my church and by my pastor. I wasn’t left by myself to deal with the situation, but it became an ‘at this point you need to be accountable’ type of situation and so I just followed the steps of my pastor’s expectations of me. I was accountable daily and weekly to report to my pastor and the support minister that was over my restoration plan and my process. Along with the support of other ministry leaders defending and reaffirming me.
3. While you were ‘sat down’, what happened to you? (Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Etc.)
Jalen: “Physically: my flesh of course wanted to be upset, to be offended, to leave the church. I thought that it was a little much that I had to go through this publicly (truly I was just mad because I was the only one who got caught) and being honest I didn’t really want to stop doing what I was doing because I liked it.”
Jalen: “Mentally: I was exhausted from keeping up the lies and trying to cover up the mess I was in. So I began to get relief from the mental anguish of hiding things or keeping it a secret or listening to the lies of the devil because at that point I had nothing to hide or lie about so I began to be free in my thought process and in my mind as a whole, gaining true relief”
Jalen: “Emotionally: I really didn’t have too many emotions about the situation because at that point I knew better; I just didn’t do better. As a result, I was put on the ‘Shame Show’ (for lack of better words) because I knew that I couldn’t keep these type of actions up while carrying the title and/or the responsibility at church like I was doing. So I couldn’t even give emotions room because it was legitimately my fault.”
Jalen: “Spiritually: I was fortified because I had so much word being given to me...so much weight that I was reading that I carried...so many prayers and affirmations that I were reciting that my spirit began to push the inconsistencies out; so much so that I was stronger spiritually, I was stronger in my faith, and I was stronger in my walk with God because I knew that he was legitimately the only person that can see me through it.”
4. Did you feel differently after vs. before?!
Jalen: “I personally felt extremely different because I knew better. I knew what the word said about me and my previous situation. I knew what the word of God promised me for my current or future situation so I felt completely stronger. I felt closer to my church family. I felt closer to my pastor. I felt closer to the areas of ministry that was serving in because of the level of accountability. I was totally free; I didn’t feel like I had to hide or put a church mask on. I was just Jalen and that was it. With that, people either accepted me or didn’t, but it didn’t matter because the people that accepted me really accepted me for who I was. Furthermore, I knew that God was proud of me for doing what other people couldn’t do and/or didn’t have the accountability/integrity to walk through.
5. Did you repeat the action after going through being sat down?
Jalen: “Now, being a human being, everything is a fight. I do not personally believe that deliverance is a one time ‘handkerchief’ being waved in front of your face and then boom the taste is gone. I believe that is a decision that you make every day by being strengthened through the Holy Spirit to make better and conscious decisions to live Holy. I can’t say that I went back to a lifestyle of the previous actions. Why? Because I was walked through this process so effortlessly and so correctly, I had that open door relationship with my Pastor that when I did have another moment of weakness and/or another moral failure, I was able to go to my pastor and tell her about it. She prayed for me, told me to revisit certain steps in the restoration plan, and then say genuinely kind things that are beyond the surface.. Not things like, “Call me tomorrow”, but phrases like “You’re still good” and “I love you” and “Thank you for being accountable”. At that point I wasn’t back in a lifestyle of hiding or being in sin (according to the churches words), but I was in right standing with God through repentance of my own free will and in right standing to my shepherd who is essentially responsible for me before God.”
Feel free to respond below or message me! Info@thejalenbrand.com